I hear you, mama. You are tired of your husband not pitching in around the house, but should a husband help with housework? It depends.
My husband and I have been married for more almost 15 years. Throughout the course of our marriage, our roles have changed and shifted depending on our circumstance.
I have been a wife who worked outside of the home, a housewife, a working mom, and a stay-at-home mom at different times in our marriage.
For nearly 10 years, however, I have remained a stay-at-home mom, who now works part-time from home.
Taking on this role means that I am responsible for managing our home, and all of the household chores fall on my shoulders.
My husband does not help with housework…
and I’m ok with that.
Should a husband help with housework?
When my husband and I decided several years ago that I would leave my career to care for my children and my home, we also decided that household chores would fall under that umbrella of responsibility.
Laundry, dishes, cooking, cleaning, buying groceries, shopping for home supplies, and even taking out the trash are my responsibility.
And, you know what? I am happy to do these things.
Unless there is something I physically cannot do, I don’t ask for my husband’s help.
Do I love doing these things all of the time? No. But, I gladly take on the responsibility because my true joy comes from taking care of my family and my home.
I have a college degree, and I initially chose a career path that I enjoyed, but my heart never felt fully satisfied working outside of the home.
My husband, on the other hand, is an entrepreneur at heart. He has dreamed of owning his own business from very early on in our marriage.
He carries the full weight of being the sole financial provider for our family of five.
As much as I’m sure he would appreciate some help in this area, he is fully supportive of my desire to be at home with our kids and available at all times to care for our family.
Preparing for this role
We spent months planning and preparing for me to leave the workforce, but it was my husband who encouraged me to take that final leap.
While I was working, we cut out all extra spending and used any remaining money we had at the end of the month to pay off debt, so that we would be financially prepared to go from two incomes to one.
Even still, it was he who convinced me that we were ready.
This isn’t to say we haven’t faced hardship. Living on one income is a challenge at times, and I know my husband feels the pressure.
Do I think my husband should help with housework? The short answer is no.
I do not want him to come home from a long day at work only to find that he still has housework to do on top of that.
I do my best to make sure we all have clean clothes to wear, a meal to eat, and a clean home to relax in at the end of the day.
At this point, you may be thinking, “OK, lady, this is not the 1950’s,” but hear me out.
My husband does do things around the house. He takes care of yard work, picks up after himself, and helps with anything that I cannot physically handle on my own.
We just don’t split common household chores. He brings home the bacon, and I cook it, so to speak.
Recognize your impact
Doing laundry, cleaning house, and grocery shopping may seem like mundane tasks, but what an honor it is to do these things if you really think about the impact it has on our families.
Providing your husband and children with clean clothes, a clean home, and healthy food gives them a
In addition, you are training a new generation to create loving, stable families of their own.
As your children get older, involving them in the day-to-day chores of the household is a great way to teach them responsibility while also relieving the burden of work on yourself.
It is our job as parents to show our children what it means to be responsible adults. Teach them how to cook and clean, and show them what a joy it is to enjoy the results of all they have accomplished.
Being a wife, mother, and homemaker is sometimes a thankless job. If we remember what a blessing it is for our families, our attitudes will change.
A humble heart and a grateful attitude will help you to see past the repetitiveness of your work and remember what a blessing it is to serve others.
You may not always enjoy the task at hand, but remembering the positive impact it has on both you and your family will help you to approach housework with joy.
Your influence is powerful
Does taking on the traditionally female role of keeping house make you less powerful or less influential? I find the opposite to be true.
Your demeanor can affect your entire family in a positive way or a negative way. You shape the ways of your home by your influence.
I desire to be a positive influence in my home by considering it an honor to care for my family and children in this way.
Do what works for your family
This may look different in your household. The roles you and your husband choose to take on is up to you to decide.
Spend time discussing it, and do what works best for your family. Whatever role you choose to take on, work eagerly and with a joyful heart.
Consider it a privilege to serve your family, and leave a legacy of a loving and nurturing home.